March 31, 2016

Etiquette in South Korea

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In Korean culture, strict respect for etiquette is a prerequisite for any social relationship. Wanting to free yourself from it can sometimes lead to disaster.

Etiquette in South Korea

In Korean culture, strict respect for etiquette is a prerequisite for any social relationship. Be careful not to get rid of it...

The concept of "face"

If you have to work with Korean teams, “face” is an essential concept that you must always keep in mind. Difficult to understand for a French manager, when he thinks, for example, that a "good rant" can sometimes help to refocus his teams, the "face" is not only an individual notion in Korea but also a collective notion.

I remember the unfortunate experience that a French entrepreneur had. On vacation on the island of Jeju with his Korean partner and associate, upon return this entrepreneur is stuck at the airport due to overbooking. He makes a scene at the check-in counter. While the two men had just spent a friendly week, the Korean partner was deeply hurt by the Frenchman's attitude, telling him a few days later: "As a foreigner in our country, you shamed me and you shames Korea. » Since then, relations were initially tense between the two men, then deteriorated further and ultimately ended. This had a strong negative impact on the Frenchman's business; not only by the loss of contract, but also by the refusal to pay commissions and the creation of a competing company.

Humiliation and revenge

In traditional Korea, families, clans, communities of interest and different administrations clashed with the sovereign. The difficulty of relations between these different parties led Koreans to be very sensitive to etiquette and ethics in interpersonal relations. From then on, a breach of etiquette through an unfortunate gesture or a word said too quickly could very quickly be taken as an attempt to humiliate the opposing party. This feeling of humiliation sometimes led to the desire for revenge and vengeance through devastating intrigues.

Even if modern business no longer has anything to do with Joseon-era Korea, this desire for revenge(복수 - poksu) to wash away a proven or supposed affront remains alive in the minds of Koreans. Very sensitive to not “losing face”, they pay particular attention to the relationships they build with their colleagues and take care not to be targeted by any intrigue. As an illustration, the film Old Boywhich introduced Korean cinema to the general public is a story of revenge. Moreover, it is part of a trilogy about revenge.

Thus, without bad intention, but through ignorance of etiquette, a foreign manager may be perceived as arrogant or, worse, as ineffective. Indeed, he can continue to persevere in the path he has chosen while blaming his teams for a lack of results. It is possible that this feeling will bring out an individual with a strong personality who will undermine team cohesion by aggregating some of the collaborators around him. The objective is simple: take the place of the indelicate manager.

Sincerity and mediation

If one day you find yourself faced with this type of situation, the solution to get out of it is to be as sincere as possible with your colleagues, open to communication, all without favoritism as one would be tempted to be by example if some team members speak English better than others. In the most extreme cases, the intervention of an external consultant or the Korean N+1 will be necessary to defuse the crisis. In Korean culture, it is accepted that a mediator intervenes to resolve conflicts. Very often, a meal and a few glasses of alcohol will bring everyone back together... until the next misstep.

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